Chris and I had an amazing time last weekend celebrating our five year anniversary. We have been through so much together and it was great having that time to ourselves. We had a great 4th of July with Tracy and her family. All in all it was the best weekend that we have had in a very long time!!! There are tons of pictures posted on my FB page.
Now that my journey with the cancer has slowed down its time to start a new journey. I have started to feel really good this past week, from the inside out. I dont feel sick any more which is a dream come true. I have been sick it seems like non stop for the last two years. To get the news that it is gone and now the doctors want to monitor my body once a month has taken a lot of stress off of me. I know that the battle is not 100 percent won yet and wont be for years to come. But the life or death threat is no longer there.. To any one that is going through the battle of Cancer I recommend looking into the treatments that Canada has been using on its patients and see who in your state is offering it. It is the best thing that I have ever done. Some people thought I was crazy and that it would not work, but that was proven wrong. It saved my life.
As for what happens next I am starting my new journey. I have to lose 100 pounds in order for the doctors to be satisfied that my body can handle anything that comes up in the future. Whether it be getting pregnant (yes the doctors say it is possible as long as I stick closely with the plan and continue to see them)or whether the cancer decides to rear its head again. I have been asked why I did not have the doctors take everything out now that the cancer is gone. Here's my answer: All I have wanted for the last 6 years is for Chris and I to have a baby of our own. I have adopted one and am in the process of adopting a second baby. Both of these kidos are VERY precious to me and I would not trade that for anything!!!!!! I love them both with everything that I am. But the dream and the hurt is still there for me. We are not trying at this time because my body just cant handle it right now. But down the road we are going to look into it if everything goes right.So the first step is losing the weight. I am also embarking on the journey of finding a job and finishing school. I am very excited about getting done with my classes and being able to do what I love to do. Its a slow process but so far I am pulling a 3.5 GPA which is something that I have never done before. Even being sick and dealing with everything school has come first.
I have noticed a change in my attitude as well as my outlook on life. Its amazing how something like this can change a person. I do not want to find myself in the same boat again. Its time to jump out and swim with the dolphins. I am changing alot of my habits, thoughts and traditions. Its time to start living life to the fullest and living it for my family and myself. I have a wonderful family who has supported me through all of this. If it was not for them I would not be where I am today!!!! I love knowing that all I have to do is pick up the phone and there will be someone there to talk to, cry with, laugh with or even just sit there and be silent with. I forgot how important this is. I have fantastic friends who cried with me and were there to listen and support me when I needed it. So I am saying THANK YOU to all of you for everything that you have done and will continue to do in the future!!! I reconnected with family that I have missed dearly in my life through all of this, I am so blessed to have them back!!!
On a sadder note my grandmother is not doing so well. She has been in the hospital for a couple of days now and is having a tough time. I ask that you all keep her and the rest of my family in your prayers. It is tearing my dad, uncles and aunts up terribly right now. I have not heard my dad this upset since my grandfather passed away 15 years ago. Anybody who knows me knows that when my dad is tore up it tears me up.I hate being so far away from him and not being able to be there to comfort him and take care of him. I know that sounds weird, but I have always been and will always be a daddys girl. Nothing in this world will ever change that. We have had our problems but I love him more then words could ever tell. I always thought that I knew how to handle my life and that he did not know what he was talking about. I have realized over the years that I was the one who did not know what I was talking about. My dad has been there in his own way for me through everything. There were times that I did not agree with the way he went about it but he was still there and that is what matters to me. I love you dad! I wish that I could be there with you!
Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes!!! You all are amazing and I love each and every one of you!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment