General thoughts

So I remember what high school was like.  Not a good four years for me. What I don't remember is bragging to my best friends/ sisters about who I slept with. Especially if my best friends were related to that person in some way. I don't remember my adopted brothers bragging to me about with one of my friends they slept with. Back then alot of people were having sex and I know today its alot worse but really let's not kiss and tell. Its nobody else's business who you are sleeping with. When or how you are doing it. If you are going to be stupid about it you better hope that the female involved doesn't get pregnant. That would really be bad. So all I can say is grow up, have some respect for the person you are dating, your sister of all people,  and keep this crap private.
  On another soap box here... I remember there being an unwritten code that all of us girls had.  You don't date your friends exboyfriends and you sure as he'll don't date there brothers or sisters. What happened to that respect for your friends. Does friendship not mean as much these days? I know that every now and then this code would get broken and relationships would come up with an ex or even a sibling and 9 times out of 10 the "friends" involved would end up losing the relationship that they had because it. Is it really worth losing the closeness of your best friend over. Are you willing to throw that friendship away because you need and want to get laid and fell like you are "loved"? If it is I feel really sad for that person. I mean really if you feel that low then there is something else going on that you need to look at and fix before you can truly love any body. If you don't love yourself you can not truly love anybody else.
  Ok im off my soap box's. Thank you to all my girlfriends for being apart of my life. The few of you that have stood by me through everything are a true blessing from God. The new ones that have come along are also a blessing from God. I love ya ladies and thank you for your friendship!

Heart Brake and healing

Have spent many years looking back on my life thinking what if.... being able to have one of things in my past come up and having to relive everything and having all those feelings and emotions to go through again.... I thought it would be hard but after tears shed and hearts broken I feel so much better. Being able to let it go and close that chapter in my life has helped. When one door closes another one opens up. Leaves room for new beginnings and relationships to be built on a strong lasting foundation. Learned a lot about myself and how I react to situations. Where my feelings really lay and how immature and naive I have been in the past. Time to make more changes and continue to clear my life out of the unwanted pain and drama. Those of you that continue to stand by me through the ups and downs of my life I love you all and thank you for your support.

Time

I love being able to sit down and spend time with my fantastic daughter. She is such an amazing person and reminds me everyday how special she is and what a blessing god has given me to have her in my life. She brings a smile to my face and warms my heart. I love her so much and am so thankful for her! I love you Kelsey!

Trying something new

I have decided to try new things in my life. Where they will take me one never knows. I am just going to hold on for the ride and hope that there are good things at the end of it. I have started working on one of the things that I figured I would try out, with the help of Kelsey it is going well. A lot harder then I ever imagined it to be, but it is going to be a lot of fun.
One of the main things that I am going to work on is being positive about the things in my life. Getting rid of the drama, lies and bs that I have allowed in my life for far to long. I have also decided to try and talk to my mom. Not something I have done in a really long time. I know that a lot of people do not think that this is a good idea because of the way that she has treated me in the past as well as the way she runs her life. This is my decision and its something that I feel I need to do. I will keep y'all posted on how it turns out. It may be a waste of my time, but at least I can say I have tried and its on less burden on my shoulders. Finally being able to forgive her for everything that she has done to me has been an amazing feeling. Now we will see where that forgiveness takes me.

Any new journey in life starts with that first step forward :)

Kelsey

I wake up everyday and worry about my daughter, my husband and everything else that is going on in our life's. I believe that every mom does. You always worry about if your kids are going to make the wrong decision or if they are going to get hurt or if you made the right choices in your life to show them the right path. I do this everyday. Not sure how things are going to turn out. I am not perfect and do not pretend to be. Today I realized that no matter what type of mistakes I make in my life kelsey has been taught well enough and been shown love and the healthy way to live life. There are certain people in her life that try to bring her down and that try to make her feel like everything is her fault. I know this is not true and I hope one day she will be able to see it too. Her aunt is an amazing person who is also there for her and has helped teach her the right and wrongs of life. As well as help her through her struggles. Each person can only do so much and kelsey is loved by so many that she always has people there when she needs them. I am so blessed to have her in our lives and to be a special part of all of this. She is such an amazing young lady and I can't wait to see where the journey of life takes her. I love her with everything that I am and I hope one day she will see herself what an amazing, beautiful,intelligent, special loving person she is. She doesn't see it right now because the pain and suffering is blocking it, but one day soon the clouds will lift and she will see what we all see everyday!


I love you kelsey sue aka squirrel bait :)

Friendship and family

About 5 years ago I was fortunate enough to be able to meet a teenager who was in need of a friend. I got to be there for this teenager and through this person I was able to meet a very special person Miss Kelsey sue. She has been a part of our family for over two years now and has lived with us for about a year and a half. We have been so blessed to have her as a part of our family. Most people could not understand why we would be so willing to help her out and all I can say is I have a big heart and love her to pieces. I would not change the way that things have happened. Being blessed with her in our lives has also given us the opportunity to get to know her family. During all of this we have been given the opportunity to take in Kelsey's little brother Jake. Of course the first thing that came to mind was you bet we will take him no questions asked. Then the lawyer told us that the DA did not want to take him out of the home that he is in right now because the family he is with wanted to adopt him. That hurt... But at the same time the Lawyer explained that if we wanted to adopt him he could take it to the judge and see if the judge would be willing to change the verdict of it. So I told him that I needed to discuss it with Chris and Kelsey and see what we wanted to do. I spoke with Chris, Kelsey, My dad, Sarah, Cassie and a few other people. Everyone that I talked to told me that they all had faith that I could do it and that no matter what decision I made it would be the right one. I struggled with this decision for a long time. Had sleepless nights and was going crazy trying to figure out what was best for Jake. It was when I was talking to Cassie that she told me I already knew the answer and had it in my heart I just needed to listen to it. So I let go of the emotions and listened to my heart and prayed hard about it. After talking about it again with Kelsey and Chris we all made the decision to move forward with the adoption. I noticed that I had a few voice mails that I had not listened to. After listening to them I learned that the Supervisor for CPA had already started the ball rolling forward with the adoption process for us. So the decision was already made for us before we even knew it :). After a lot of stress and hard times things are moving forward. Now its time for prayers that everything will go the way it needs to in order to have him here with the family.

On top of dealing with our family stuff I realized that a family that was really close to my heart has pushed away and no longer communicates. I have met some amazing people in my life and am glad to call each and everyone of them friends. I have not been the best person to represent friendship over the years. Life has gotten in the way and I have neglected the friends that mean the most to me. I apologize to those of you that I have neglected. I am pretty sure you know who you are. If you don't please feel free to ask and I will tell you :). Getting back to the family that has stopped communicating, it brakes my heart that people pull away because there is miss communication, if you have a problem please talk to me about it. If I said something that you don't like then come talk to me. I don't say the things that I do to hurt people or to upset them. I am who I am and I don't have a problem opening up and explaining why I said what I said or why I am feeling the way that I am feeling, but please don't close me out and push me away. We are adults and should be able to work through the problems. I love all of my friends and am thankful everyday that I have each and every one of you. You make my life exciting, bring drama at times(I love you Sarah :) ) and are always there when I need you. Each and every one of you bring something special to my life and I thank you all for it!!!

Hope everyone has a fantastic day!!!

Jake sitting in my lap at the house in Grand Junction. :)

Teenagers... I just dont get it.

I totally remember what it was like to be a teenager. Was not that long ago that I was one. There are something that I know I should not have done while growing up and decided to do it any ways. I understand having fun and doing things that your parents told you not to do and getting away with it because they never found out :). But my question is when did damaging other peoples property become something fun to do. Im not talking about Toilet papering a house or egging a car, yes those should not be done either lol but most of us have done them at some point in our lives. No I am talking about keying cars, or running knifes down the side of a car and then puncturing tires on vehicles. For no other reason then they were bored. If I would have ever done something like this my dad would have kicked my butt. There are a lot of things that I did and I only remember keying one car and it was out of anger and I look back on it now and it was the stupidest thing I could have ever done.
Now that I am off my soap box.... We had 6 cars get vandalized in our parking lot the other day, my truck and Kelsey's bf's truck being two out of the 6. So frustrating!!! It was 4 teenage boys who were bored and thought it would be funny to mess up the cars. Did they catch them NO!!! But not for lack of trying. I was really impressed with the Conroe Police Department as well as Montgomery County Sheriff Department. Unfortunately my insurance wont cover the damage done to my truck so I will have to pay for it myself. Not a big deal because I was very lucky in that they only sliced one of my tires, the other car that got hit they sliced all four tires, keyed the entire vehicle and smashed the tail lights. So all in all I would have to say Jason (Kelseys Boyfriend) and I got lucky.