Colorado

 Things have gone really well here in Colorado. I got to spend time with my family and see a few friends. Not enough time to see everyone...

  Saw the doctor today... was told the same thing that I was told over the phone, the clinic here does not have the stuff that is needed to take care of my issues so I only have to choices left. Now its just to figure out how to get those choices taken care of and which one would be better for me.


   Have been dealing with a lot of stuff the last couple of days. Love my parents to death but I truly hate it when they tell me over and over and over again that I HAVE to take care of something and that I DONT have a choice and it needs to be done RIGHT now. There are no quick and easy answers to this. There are no fast fixes and easy ways to deal with this. I have done everything that I can think of to make things come together and I am hitting a brick wall. I dont have anywhere else to turn, I cant ask for help from any one else which leaves me in a position where we just have to wait until we can do it on our owns. That being said it will probably be 6 to 7 months down the road before that can happen. Maybe longer.... Who knows.... But in the mean time I dont need people telling me that its not acceptable and that it needs to be taken care of right now. I understand better then most that this is seriouse and its not something to mess with. I totally understand that and get that and if I could change the way that things were I would, but as of right now I can not change the way things are going. So instead of telling me that I HAVE to do something right now and I DONT have a choice lets think about it and remember that I am only one person and with my Husband we are only two people and there is only so much that we can do.

 I try to help people understand why things cant be done right this minute and while talking to a friend of mine last night I was reminded of something that I knew about but I am not sure how many other people know about it, so I figured I would share it with everyone so that maybe this would be a little easier to understand. The reason the doctors cant just jump right in and take everything out and call it good, is because as soon as you give cancer oxygen it grows very rapidly. So if they go in and cut me open and expose all of it to oxygen then I take the chances of it spreading to other organs in my body. UMMM hello can we say no thank you :). I would rather figure out how to get the treatments done and get it killed off or at least stop the spreading first and then have them cut it out with as little chance of it spreading as possible. I hope that this helps at least a little bit. Anybody with questions and concerns please feel free to ask. I will do what I can to answer them and help people understand a little bit better what is going on.