Friendship and family

About 5 years ago I was fortunate enough to be able to meet a teenager who was in need of a friend. I got to be there for this teenager and through this person I was able to meet a very special person Miss Kelsey sue. She has been a part of our family for over two years now and has lived with us for about a year and a half. We have been so blessed to have her as a part of our family. Most people could not understand why we would be so willing to help her out and all I can say is I have a big heart and love her to pieces. I would not change the way that things have happened. Being blessed with her in our lives has also given us the opportunity to get to know her family. During all of this we have been given the opportunity to take in Kelsey's little brother Jake. Of course the first thing that came to mind was you bet we will take him no questions asked. Then the lawyer told us that the DA did not want to take him out of the home that he is in right now because the family he is with wanted to adopt him. That hurt... But at the same time the Lawyer explained that if we wanted to adopt him he could take it to the judge and see if the judge would be willing to change the verdict of it. So I told him that I needed to discuss it with Chris and Kelsey and see what we wanted to do. I spoke with Chris, Kelsey, My dad, Sarah, Cassie and a few other people. Everyone that I talked to told me that they all had faith that I could do it and that no matter what decision I made it would be the right one. I struggled with this decision for a long time. Had sleepless nights and was going crazy trying to figure out what was best for Jake. It was when I was talking to Cassie that she told me I already knew the answer and had it in my heart I just needed to listen to it. So I let go of the emotions and listened to my heart and prayed hard about it. After talking about it again with Kelsey and Chris we all made the decision to move forward with the adoption. I noticed that I had a few voice mails that I had not listened to. After listening to them I learned that the Supervisor for CPA had already started the ball rolling forward with the adoption process for us. So the decision was already made for us before we even knew it :). After a lot of stress and hard times things are moving forward. Now its time for prayers that everything will go the way it needs to in order to have him here with the family.

On top of dealing with our family stuff I realized that a family that was really close to my heart has pushed away and no longer communicates. I have met some amazing people in my life and am glad to call each and everyone of them friends. I have not been the best person to represent friendship over the years. Life has gotten in the way and I have neglected the friends that mean the most to me. I apologize to those of you that I have neglected. I am pretty sure you know who you are. If you don't please feel free to ask and I will tell you :). Getting back to the family that has stopped communicating, it brakes my heart that people pull away because there is miss communication, if you have a problem please talk to me about it. If I said something that you don't like then come talk to me. I don't say the things that I do to hurt people or to upset them. I am who I am and I don't have a problem opening up and explaining why I said what I said or why I am feeling the way that I am feeling, but please don't close me out and push me away. We are adults and should be able to work through the problems. I love all of my friends and am thankful everyday that I have each and every one of you. You make my life exciting, bring drama at times(I love you Sarah :) ) and are always there when I need you. Each and every one of you bring something special to my life and I thank you all for it!!!

Hope everyone has a fantastic day!!!

Jake sitting in my lap at the house in Grand Junction. :)

Teenagers... I just dont get it.

I totally remember what it was like to be a teenager. Was not that long ago that I was one. There are something that I know I should not have done while growing up and decided to do it any ways. I understand having fun and doing things that your parents told you not to do and getting away with it because they never found out :). But my question is when did damaging other peoples property become something fun to do. Im not talking about Toilet papering a house or egging a car, yes those should not be done either lol but most of us have done them at some point in our lives. No I am talking about keying cars, or running knifes down the side of a car and then puncturing tires on vehicles. For no other reason then they were bored. If I would have ever done something like this my dad would have kicked my butt. There are a lot of things that I did and I only remember keying one car and it was out of anger and I look back on it now and it was the stupidest thing I could have ever done.
Now that I am off my soap box.... We had 6 cars get vandalized in our parking lot the other day, my truck and Kelsey's bf's truck being two out of the 6. So frustrating!!! It was 4 teenage boys who were bored and thought it would be funny to mess up the cars. Did they catch them NO!!! But not for lack of trying. I was really impressed with the Conroe Police Department as well as Montgomery County Sheriff Department. Unfortunately my insurance wont cover the damage done to my truck so I will have to pay for it myself. Not a big deal because I was very lucky in that they only sliced one of my tires, the other car that got hit they sliced all four tires, keyed the entire vehicle and smashed the tail lights. So all in all I would have to say Jason (Kelseys Boyfriend) and I got lucky.

Fresh Start

Chris and I had an amazing time last weekend celebrating our five year anniversary. We have been through so much together and it was great having that time to ourselves. We had a great 4th of July with Tracy and her family. All in all it was the best weekend that we have had in a very long time!!! There are tons of pictures posted on my FB page.

Now that my journey with the cancer has slowed down its time to start a new journey. I have started to feel really good this past week, from the inside out. I dont feel sick any more which is a dream come true. I have been sick it seems like non stop for the last two years. To get the news that it is gone and now the doctors want to monitor my body once a month has taken a lot of stress off of me. I know that the battle is not 100 percent won yet and wont be for years to come. But the life or death threat is no longer there.. To any one that is going through the battle of Cancer I recommend looking into the treatments that Canada has been using on its patients and see who in your state is offering it. It is the best thing that I have ever done. Some people thought I was crazy and that it would not work, but that was proven wrong. It saved my life.

As for what happens next I am starting my new journey. I have to lose 100 pounds in order for the doctors to be satisfied that my body can handle anything that comes up in the future. Whether it be getting pregnant (yes the doctors say it is possible as long as I stick closely with the plan and continue to see them)or whether the cancer decides to rear its head again. I have been asked why I did not have the doctors take everything out now that the cancer is gone. Here's my answer: All I have wanted for the last 6 years is for Chris and I to have a baby of our own. I have adopted one and am in the process of adopting a second baby. Both of these kidos are VERY precious to me and I would not trade that for anything!!!!!! I love them both with everything that I am. But the dream and the hurt is still there for me. We are not trying at this time because my body just cant handle it right now. But down the road we are going to look into it if everything goes right.So the first step is losing the weight. I am also embarking on the journey of finding a job and finishing school. I am very excited about getting done with my classes and being able to do what I love to do. Its a slow process but so far I am pulling a 3.5 GPA which is something that I have never done before. Even being sick and dealing with everything school has come first.

I have noticed a change in my attitude as well as my outlook on life. Its amazing how something like this can change a person. I do not want to find myself in the same boat again. Its time to jump out and swim with the dolphins. I am changing alot of my habits, thoughts and traditions. Its time to start living life to the fullest and living it for my family and myself. I have a wonderful family who has supported me through all of this. If it was not for them I would not be where I am today!!!! I love knowing that all I have to do is pick up the phone and there will be someone there to talk to, cry with, laugh with or even just sit there and be silent with. I forgot how important this is. I have fantastic friends who cried with me and were there to listen and support me when I needed it. So I am saying THANK YOU to all of you for everything that you have done and will continue to do in the future!!! I reconnected with family that I have missed dearly in my life through all of this, I am so blessed to have them back!!!

On a sadder note my grandmother is not doing so well. She has been in the hospital for a couple of days now and is having a tough time. I ask that you all keep her and the rest of my family in your prayers. It is tearing my dad, uncles and aunts up terribly right now. I have not heard my dad this upset since my grandfather passed away 15 years ago. Anybody who knows me knows that when my dad is tore up it tears me up.I hate being so far away from him and not being able to be there to comfort him and take care of him. I know that sounds weird, but I have always been and will always be a daddys girl. Nothing in this world will ever change that. We have had our problems but I love him more then words could ever tell. I always thought that I knew how to handle my life and that he did not know what he was talking about. I have realized over the years that I was the one who did not know what I was talking about. My dad has been there in his own way for me through everything. There were times that I did not agree with the way he went about it but he was still there and that is what matters to me. I love you dad! I wish that I could be there with you!


Thank you all for the thoughts, prayers and well wishes!!! You all are amazing and I love each and every one of you!!!