Wow just Wow

I am not the type of person to judge someone else and how they deal with their family. Everyone has their own way of doing it and their opinions on how it should be done. I listen, I help when I am asked but most the time I have learned after many many years to keep my mouth shut and stay out of it. But when someone butts into my life and the way that I am dealing with my family it really pisses me off. Especially when people have no idea whats been going on for the last 6 years and have no idea how much I have changed from the ways that I used to be. Yes I screwed up, yes I lied and cheated and hurt a lot of people while I was growing up. But really who hasnt at some point in their life. I am NOT perfect and I never said I was, I do not know everything and never said I did. I have made my own bed and have had to lay in it many times. Does this mean that I am a bad person, in my eyes no, it means that I am a human and am bound to make mistakes. As long as I move forward and learn from my mistakes then I think that is all that anybody could ask of me. So to those that I have wronged in my life and I know who you are and I am sure that you know you who I are, I want to apologize for the lies that were told, the hurtful things that were said, the backstabbing that went on, the rumors that were told and anything else that I may have done to hurt you. It took me a while to grow up and realize that what I was doing was wrong. Right should have known from the beginning that it was wrong, but at the time it was all about me and what I needed to do for me. I am sorry that I was selfish and self serving and I hope that you all can see that I am not the same person any more. I have moved on with my life, have gone through some very scary life threatening things that have made me realize that there is no room in my life for these types of actions. If I want to be loved and be able to love others it starts with me changing my actions. I believe that I have been doing that over the years. I am still a work in progress, but those that are standing with me and are walking this path with me will realize that I will always be a work in progress,but at least its progress. I cant change the fact that I made mistakes in my past but only I can fix the hurt that I caused and only I can make myself a better person. I am doing everything that I can to be the wife I want to be for my husband. Trying to take care of his needs as well as keep the house going and the bills paid. This is not always an easy task with him being gone all the time, but I am making it happen. I am trying to be the best "mother" that I can be to Kelsey. I know she is an adult but there are times that she still needs me to be the "mom" she did not have growing up. I am trying to be the best friend that I can be, yes there are times that I don't answer my phone or it takes a couple of days for me to get on fb and comment on something that is going on, I know I don't keep in contact with my friends the way that I should. I have a busy life and I know that my friends do as well. All I can say is I am trying to do what I can and be there for everyone who needs me. I am only one person and can only do so much. I am trying to be the best big sister that my little brother could ask for, I wish that I could spend more time with him. He is a wonderful, amazing young man and I love him to pieces! ( I would never say that to his face cause at 13 that would totally embarrass him :) LMAO) I am trying to be the best daughter I can be, not only for my dad by doing what I can to help him out, but also to my mom. I know a lot of people would tell me that she doesn't deserve it after everything that she has done to me, for those people I say God tells us to forgive those who have wronged us, That I have done, I will never forget what she has done to me, but I have forgiven her. I am trying to do everything that I can for my in-laws. I know I know that's not a word that the family likes to use. I can only do so much and I feel at times that it gets thrown back in my face. That's why I have stopped doing a lot of what I used to do. I don't know what else to do or what else to say that will help any more. I love my family even with the troubles that it has and would do whatever I could to help most of them. I love my friends and would do anything I could to help them out as well. For those of you that have stood by me and watched me grow and learn my lessons and those of you that continue to stand by me THANK YOU. There's nothing else I can really say.